In Part 1, we looked at the fundamentals of what it means to be a Christian parent, and a Christian child. Now we’ll look at the whys of obedience.
Paul doesn’t just give children the command, “obey your parents and honor your parents.” He also gives a couple reasons. “Children, obey your parents,” he says, “because it is right.” Ephesians 6:1 says obedience is righteous. It is right because God commands it, as Paul shows in verse 2, where again he quotes the fifth commandment. This is the role God has given you in your family according to His good design. He commands you to relate to your parents in this way, and therefore it is the right and righteous thing to do. Colossians 3:20 says, “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” It is right in His sight.
Obey because it is right
So kids, at the most basic level, you are not supposed to obey your parents because they deserve your obedience, but because God deserves your obedience. And He says this is right.
I need to be clear: Paul is writing to families with Christian parents, and the obedience of children to their parents is subject to the greater authority of God. If any parent is requiring a child to sin or is taking advantage of a child in a sinful way, that is a terrible offense to God. There are not many more vulnerable relationships than that of a child to their parents. And to take advantage of that authority is wicked. I think Paul assumes this goes without saying in this passage. The obligation for obedience is not absolute but comes under what God says is right.
With that said, even Christian parents are weak and sinful and at times lack wisdom. We know that. God knows that. That in itself does not remove the need to obey your parents. It is not ultimately your parents who are worthy of your obedience. But God is worthy of your obedience. He is not weak and sinful. He never lacks wisdom. He is completely good. And He says this obedience pleases Him. So He is ultimately the One you need to trust, and He is ultimately the One to whom you will give an account.
This is where it is good to be reminded that God looks on the heart. He knows what is in our hearts. He knows if our obedience is real. Or if it is just an act. He knows if you are actually deceiving your parents in some way so they think you are obeying them when actually you aren’t.
Some of you are old enough that you realize your parents don’t know everything. (I’m sorry parents if I’m shattering some illusions at this point which have been helpful to you so far in your parenting.) It can seem when you are younger that your parents know everything. Some of you know that is not actually true. And you have successfully deceived them in regard to your obedience. And they don’t realize it. That will be a short-lived success. Because it is not ultimately your parents to whom you will answer, or to whom you are obligated. It is to God. And He looks on the heart. He knows everything. And what pleases the Lord is your obedience.
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