Let’s face it. It’s difficult speaking with our children about matters of sexuality. For starters, we’re nervous when bringing up the subject due to the sensitive nature of the material. When the subject surfaces, our minds often go blank and we fumble for words. Once the words come out, we usually say the wrong thing, or say it in the wrong way. It feels like we can’t win for losing.
This is why many parents opt for an even worse approach: silence. This approach will always backfire, for parental silence only heightens the child’s curiosity to look for answers in all the wrong places. Our children won’t have to look long, for it turns out that friends, books, magazines, and of course the internet are more than willing to “parent” them in anything they want to know about sexuality.
The truth is we cannot afford to avoid the subject of sexuality with our children—the stakes are simply too high. God has given parents the responsibility to raise their children in the fear and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4). This includes acknowledging that they are sexual beings and training them in what it means to flourish sexually as God designed.
The SCOTUS ruling on same-sex marriage gives parents another opportunity to speak clearly about God’s design for sexuality. But how do we go about it without looking like a fool? Below are four practical suggestions.
1. Be Natural
Settle your nerves by planning what you’re going to say. Then spend time praying over what you’ve planned. Don’t be embarrassed to jot down a few notes to keep yourself on track. The more you can build confidence, reduce any awkwardness and stress, and be yourself, the higher likelihood that you will communicate clearly and lovingly with little to no emotional interference.
2. Be Inquisitive
Avoid a “family meeting” communication style like, “Little Johnny, I have something very important to speak with you about…” Instead, use your regular family worship time or simply the time you’re sitting around the table after dinner. Begin by asking basic biblical questions about relationships, love, and marriage. As the conversation progresses through the children’s replies, steer the dialogue to the important matters of sexuality and teach them about God’s design for men, women, and marriage in contrast to the world’s redefinitions.