As a happy product of the grace-loving evangelical tradition, I am exceedingly grateful for the deluge of gospel conversation among many Christians today. But, as a sometimes-crotchety old professor once reminded me, people are prone to extremes. What began as a needed corrective to the moralistic Christianity of our forebears could easily turn into an overcorrection of Antinomian proportions.
Martin Luther faced the same problem. He began his reforms by speaking against the grace-less error of the Roman Catholic Church, but before long, he was challenging the grace-loving errors of his lawless would-be followers. Could it be that in our righteous zeal for the gospel we have swung the pendulum too far in the opposite direction?
I know what some would say. We’re talking about the gospel. How could one possibly consider the gospel too much? Perhaps a better way to look at our current state is not an error of considering the gospel too often, but considering it too narrowly. Luther famously said that in Scripture, God spoke in two languages –law and gospel. Sometimes I wonder if we have, in effect, clamped one side of God’s mouth shut while holding up a megaphone to the other.
What does all this have to do with parenting? In the midst of our pleas for gospel-centered everything, we have urged Christian parents to raise their children in light of the gospel. Certainly this is a worthy goal, but I wonder if it misses half of the point. Is it even possible to raise your children in light of the gospel without a healthy dose of law? Yet you won’t find any books or seminars on law-centered parenting.
Perhaps we need to change our terminology. What we’re after, more than an idea of gospel-centered parenting, is biblical faithfulness. And that may not be gospel-centered parenting, but (law and) gospel-centered parenting. So what does it mean to bring the law into view as we parent?
1. Build a Gospel Foundation
Teach your children the gospel. Teach it to them over and over and over again until they have a solid gospel foundation in their minds. Swing the hammer of the gospel continually until your children have a healthy framework for understanding the law. When you do teach your children law, they should know that in themselves they are powerless to obey it, their obedience does not merit God’s favor, and their obedience should be in response to Christ’s obedience.
2. Teach them Law
There was a time many years ago when teaching children the law of God was central to Christian education. Learning the 10 Commandments was as important as any other subject. How often do we teach our children God’s law today? Do our children know the Ten Commandments? They may know the faces and names of all their favorite Pixar movies, and they may know the lines by heart. But do they know God’s law? Do you? Law-and-gospel centered parenting means teaching your children the law.
But understanding God’s law is not enough. They must learn to love God’s law. Over and over again the Psalmist expresses his delight and love in God’s commandments. Our children must not only learn God’s law, but learn why God’s law is good.
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