There is a certain allure to the ways of the world. As the old saying goes, people are attracted to the bright lights of the big city because that is where the action is located. Of course the action many seek often turns out to be the exact opposite of what they originally believed it to be, thus resulting in great disappointment. This means that what had the appearance of being fun and exciting is nothing more than depravity wrapped up in a pretty bow.

This is nothing new really as examples abound in Scripture, perhaps most notably in the decision by Abraham’s nephew Lot to live in the area of Sodom and Gomorrah. Genesis 13:10 states, “And Lot lifted up his eyes, and beheld all the plain of Jordan, that it was well watered everywhere, before the LORD destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah, even as the garden of the LORD, like the land of Egypt, as thou comest unto Zoar.” Note that little historical insert of “before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah”. I am sure this area of land called out to Lot because it was lush, popular, and likely full of life. Unfortunately, appearances were not what they seemed as behind the façade was a culture replete in sinful abominations to the extent those cities experienced judgment from God.

Let’s fast forward to more recent times and allow me to share why I even bother to bring up this topic. All around us we have the continued and every increasing allure of the world. Following the ways of God is typically presented as old-fashioned, boring with those who desire to be biblical in their approach to life described as killjoys. Parents if you have pre-teen or teenage children you know what I am talking about. Godly parents are the epitome of boring in the minds of children, especially when the bright lights of what their “friends” are doing comes into clash with godly behavior.

Recently, when researching bead making patterns on the internet, my daughter came across the world of hippies and soon after that, discovered information on the party gathering known as a rave. I can somewhat understand how she came across hippies as after all, hippies and beads have some sort of logical connection. With that said, I am still trying to figure out how rave parties filtered into the bead search criteria. Let’s just say some clever marketing is taking place.

In the same manner as Sodom and Gomorrah seemed appealing to Lot, hippies and rave parties seemed interesting to our teenage daughter. Now mind you, she knows little if anything about the actual facts behind the hippie movement with its free love, false approach to peace, and drug induced stupor nor does she have any true insight into what actually transpires happens at most rave parties. However, the manner in which both were promoted on the internet made them seem harmless and a group of people who just wanted everybody to love each other and the other being a cool hangout spot to meet with friends and to have a “good time”.

My wife and I took this opportunity to outline to our daughter the facts about the hippie movement as well as exactly what takes place at most rave parties. I’m not sure at this point much of what we said sunk in, but all in all it was a needed and important conversation to have. We could have just ignored her interest with the approach that it is “just a phase” and she will move on to something else. Such an approach would have been incorrect given that a wandering mind left unchecked, especially a young impressionable mind, will find a way to see out those fleshly desires more often than not. Part of the conversation was the reality that the peace and love presented by the hippie movement and their associated pursuits (i.e. sex, drugs, rock ‘n roll) is a false sense of peace and love, one that does not align with how God defines love and proper relationships. Furthermore, it is impossible to just hang-out at a gathering such as a rave and to ignore the activities going on around you, namely the bodies grinding, the partaking of drugs, and the pounding beat of the music specifically intended to generate the fever pitch of depravity.

These bright lights of the big city are all around us and they seem very attractive both for adults and most certainly for young impressionable minds. Walking the straight and narrow path seems rather dull and boring to many, especially when the aptly named “highway to hell” is lined with all manner of seemingly fun and exciting pursuits. The reality is that those fun and exciting pursuits lead to death, many times physical but more importantly, they lead people down a path to spiritual destruction on an eternal scale, something far more disastrous than physical death.

Parenting is hard and it is tempting to want to be hip and cool with your kids. You may be tempted to let you children be friends with those of questionable character and social habits just so your kids won’t feel left out of “socially inept”. While creating a protective dome around your home and children is going to the opposite extreme, it is important to be fully aware of what your children are doing, with whom they are doing it with, and what they are viewing on all manner of electronic devices. All Lot had at his disposal when deciding whether to make his move to Sodom and Gomorrah was word of mouth and what he could see with his eyes. Children have all manner of devices at their disposal that are constantly feeding the allure of the world to their waiting eyes and ears, making our job as parents even more difficult.

Despite the difficulties, it is imperative that you are an active parent. When your child brings up something for conversation, engage with them and ask questions as to how they found out about that topic and share with them the truth of God’s Word, especially if what they have discovered is associated with the bright lights of the world. Left unchecked and undiscussed, they could very well get sucked into the vortex of worldly desires and the pursuit of the flesh. It may be baby steps at first in regards to allure, but that is all it takes sometimes to start bad habits and bad relationships that lead to future pursuits of ungodly and unrighteous behavior. Remember that a little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough. To use that analogy, your children are lumps of dough that need to be constantly molded and shaped by you as parents with the truth of Scripture. When the leaven of the world is allowed into the dough (the life of your child), bad things can happen.

Be diligent parents. Be involved in the life of your child and be aware of who their friends are, what they are listening to, what they are watching, and be proactive in conversation especially when they bring up topics that clearly or even clandestinely are attempts to bring validation to ungodly pursuits. Share with them God’s way and why that way is best. Help them understand why Sodom and Gomorrah is not the place to set up camp. This is hard and it takes a great deal of patience and effort but it is part of your job description as a parent. Never forget the following passage:

“You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deut. 11:19-20)

One of the questions we get many times at the GCM Collective is, “What about kids? How do you have time to disciple your children during all this mission stuff, and what does it look like?” I have three kids, a 10 year old, a 7 year old, and an 16 month old. I own a business, am an elder in a church, preach, and participate as an executive team member of the GCM Collective. Not to mention I coach leaders around the world and travel for speaking and training events. How do I have time? I learned early on, from my brothers at Soma Communities, that I only have one life, and mission has to be part of my everyday life, not some other life that I need to live.

I don’t have time to get into all of that teaching, but it transformed how I see mission and discipleship. (To see an illustration of this look here: We Have Been Given One Life). Needless to say, I’ve decided to serve and leverage my life as much as I can. I’m busy and you are probably busy, too. How can we disciple kids in the midst of such hectic community and mission filled lives?

HOLISTIC DISCIPLESHIP

What is the goal of children’s discipleship? Are we just trying to teach them stuff? See, the goal is not that our children will merely know the right answers on their Bible College theological entry exam, also known as Sunday School. We certainly want them to know God and understand the gospel in their minds. But, discipleship cannot stop at intellectual assent of biblical truths in their heads alone. It must penetrate their hearts. In the same way, the goal is not for children discipleship to stop at their hearts, but must work out in their lives. Certainly our children’s discipleship is not only about getting them to behave and use proper manners. The Bible speaks to parenting and disciple making more holistically than this:

You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. – Deuteronomy 11:18-20

This passage tells us two fundamental principles in parenting. One, discipleship is for the head, heart, and hand. We are to teach our children to know the gospel, believe the gospel, and obey the gospel. Two, the discipleship process is happening all the time, in everyday life. Every moment of the day is a chance to speak, teach, and demonstrate the gospel. My aim with this article is to offer some easy handles and ideas for parents to obediently live Deuteronomy 11 with their kids.

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“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” Ephesians 6:4

If we are to carry out the Apostle’s injunction…we must sit back for a moment and consider what we have to do. When the child comes, we must say to ourselves, “We are the guardians and the custodians of this soul.” What a dread responsibility! In business and in professions, men are well aware of the great responsibility that rests upon them in the decisions they have to take. But are they aware of the infinitely greater responsibility they bear with respect to their own children? Do they give even the same amount of thought and attention and time to it, not to say more? Does it weigh as heavily upon them as the responsibility that they feel in these other realms? The Apostle urges us to regard this as the greatest business in life, the greatest matter that we ever have to handle and transact.

The Apostle does not stop at that: “Bring them up,” he says, “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” The two words he uses are full of interest. The difference between them is that the first, nurture, is more general than the second. It is the totality of nurturing, rearing, bringing up the child. It includes, therefore, general discipline. And, as all the authorities are agreed in pointing out, its emphasis is upon actions. The second word, admonition, has reference rather to words that are spoken. Nurture is the more general term and includes everything that we do for the children. It includes the whole process in general of the cultivation of the mind and the spirit, the morals and the moral behavior, the whole personality of the child. That is our task. It is to look upon the child, care for it, and guard it…

The word admonition carries much the same meaning, except that it puts greater emphasis upon speech. Thus, there are two aspects of this matter. First, we have to deal with general conduct and behavior, the things we have to do by actions. Then, in addition, there are certain admonitions that should be addressed to the child: words of exhortation, words of encouragement, words of reproof, words of blame. Paul’s term includes all these, indeed everything we say to the children in actual words when we are defining positions and indicating what is right or wrong, encouraging, exhorting, and so on. Such is the meaning of the word admonition.

Children are to be reared in “the nurture and the admonition”—and then the most important addition of all—“of the Lord.” This is where Christian parents, engaged in their duty towards their children, are in an entirely different category from all other parents. In other words, this appeal to Christian parents is not simply to exhort them to bring up their children in terms of general morality or good manners or commendable behavior in general. That, of course, is included. Everyone should be doing it; non-Christian parents should be doing it. They should be concerned about good manners, good general behavior, an avoidance of evil. They should teach their children to be honest, dutiful, respectful, and all these various things. That is but common morality, and Christianity has not started at that point. Even pagan writers interested in the good ordering of society have always exhorted their fellow men to teach such principles. Society cannot continue without a modicum of discipline and of law and order at every level and at every age. But the Apostle is not referring to that only. He says that the children of Christians are to be brought up “in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”

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Before we adopted our daughter, my wife and I were often provided the parental advice of knowing when to pick your battles. It was stated to us that not every battle is worth fighting meaning in regards to some issues, it is apparently just best to let the child win the day in order to secure peace and tranquility in the home. Not every hill was said to be worthy of dying on or something along those lines.

As I reflect back on almost three years of having our daughter in our home and knowing we adopted her at the cusp of the teenage years, I tend to question more and more the supposed wisdom of picking your battles. If some battles are not worth fighting, how does one decide what is important and what is not? After all, is not everything involved with training up a child worthy of consideration and focus, especially in a time when so many ungodly attractions and temptations wait around every corner, even when it comes to what may seem like a really benign issue?

Scripture declares to parents a number of commands to include but not limited to the following:

You shall therefore impress these words of mine on your heart and on your soul; and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontals on your forehead.” You shall teach them to your sons, talking of them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road and when you lie down and when you rise up. “You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates, so that your days and the days of your sons may be multiplied on the land which the LORD swore to your fathers to give them, as long as the heavens remain above the earth. (Deut. 11:18-21)

For He established a testimony in Jacob And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers That they should teach them to their children, That the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children, That they should put their confidence in God And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments, (Psalm 78:5-7)

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6)

Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4)

A common theme in these passages is the command, not suggestion but the command to instruct our children in the ways of the Lord. In fact, they are to be impressed upon our children and we are to train them in what God has declared as the path of life as declared in the pages of Scripture. Since the Word of God is applicable to all aspects of life, it would seem prudent then for parents to acknowledge that all of life is a battle. The Apostle Paul outlined how this battle is being conducted noting, “For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places.” (Eph. 6:12)

What does this spiritual battle mean when it comes to the daily battles of parenthood? It means the enemy is looking for every opportunity to wage war against your children and your family. He is quite clever and will use every deviant tool at his disposal to inject his tentacles into the life and attitudes of your child. Even seemingly innocuous things such as what music is listened to or what clothes are worn are opportunities for a rebellious seed to be planted by the enemy.

The idea of training noted in passages such as Deut. 11 and Prov. 22 is not just a conversation here and there or picking your battles. Training in the biblical sense as it relates to parenting involves a constant focus, the persistent exercise of spiritual muscles both on the part of the parent in their own life and of course in the life of their children as well. Picking your battles will more often than not result in flabby spiritual muscles. Speaking to your children the things of God is noted in Deut. 11 as an all-day everyday activity. When you stand up and when you sit down you are to be instructing. When you leave the house and when you return home you are to be instructing.

Nowhere in Scripture is there a command or even a suggestion to parents to pick your battle. If the enemy is constantly in battle mode, why do we even entertain the idea of taking time off from the battle? We are to constantly gird ourselves with the full armor of God and we are to constantly teach our children what that looks like in everyday practice.

This means the music that is listened to, the television programming that is viewed, the lingo that is spoken, the books that are read, and numerous other daily activities have to be considered as a war zone and a place where the enemy is trying to sneak into the life of your child. Ignore even a small area and you have essentially given ground to the enemy.

Trust me. This is not an easy fight. It seems in my home the battles are related to choices of music and instruction is focused on noting the importance of knowing what goes into our brains through our ears. You will find as you engage in these battles that the typical response will be something along the lines of “What is the big deal” or “Why do you care”. I have found that responding in love is a must because truth without love is not going to work. Remind your child, especially if they name the name of Jesus as their Savior that we are to do all to the glory of God. If the music we listen to, the programming we watch, the books we read, or anything in life for that matter is not pleasing to and glorifying God, it must be cast away. It is simply not worth having if God is not the center of the action.

If you have been picking your battles of late, I encourage you to engage in every battle for they are all worth fighting. This does not mean that yelling and screaming is the method by which to do battle. Scripture exhorts parents to teach and impress and most importantly to be the example of what godly living is all about. The allure of the world is strong, but God’s Word and the work of the Holy Spirit is far more powerful than any of the enemy’s most clever attacks. Get in the battle. Teach your children the ways of God. Live out God’s commands in your own life and be godly parents when you rise up and when you lie down and when you go out and when you come in. This is what apologetics in the home is all about.

What do our children really need from us as their parents? Some of the needs of our children change as they grow and some remain the same. Knowing these needs – both the ones that change and the ones that remain the same – can help focus our priorities and our prayers for our children as they grow.

As our children grow, some needs change . . .

Infancy: Security and predictability. In their youngest years, our children need to know that they can depend on us to meet their needs. They need to know that we will feed them when they’re hungry, change them when they’re dirty, hold their hands when they’re learning to walk, comfort them when they’re crying. They need to feel safe with is and to know they can depend on us. High levels of unpredictability can make very young children insecure and fearful.

Toddler/Preschool: Consistent instruction, correction and discipline. Consistency is so hard, but toddlers and preschoolers are learning what is right and wrong, what is acceptable and not acceptable, and we must teach them, correct them and discipline them with consistency and love. If something is acceptable on Monday (because we’re too tired to deal with it) and then not acceptable on Tuesday (because we’ve had enough of it and can’t stand it anymore), our children will be confused and will not know what to expect on Wednesday.

Early elementary: Training and knowledge. As children learn to behave and obey, now they need to learn more “academic” things. Of course, we need to begin with the basics, learning to read and basic math. You might think that is your children go to school, the academics are covered by the professionals, but this is not true. The home is far more influential than any outside school in a child’s academic life. Our kids need us to support them, work with them, help them, show them what to do, etc. Of course, this really begins in infancy as we read to our babies and in the toddler years as we help them count and learn their colors, etc.

In these early elementary years, it’s essential that we read good books to our children and that we listen to them read good books to us. Reading is the key to lifelong learning and saturation in good books is key. Giving a reluctant reader some trash to read because it will “hold their interest” is not long-term helpful or wise. Train their tastes to like what is excellent.

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The post Jason Van Bemmel – What Our Children Need from Us appeared first on Christian Apologetics & Intelligence Ministry.

Psalm 34:13 – Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit.

One of those parenting moments you hope never happens but know it will came knocking at our door recently. We discovered that our daughter had been creating a well-planned series of lies to cover up something she should have informed us about but claimed she was too afraid to reveal. As noted in Luke 8:17, noting is hidden that will not be made manifest.

Now as a child, I was well acquainted with the effort that goes into setting up and maintaining a series of lies regardless of the reality that eventually that house of cards would come crashing down. Ultimately, the punishment I received or the disappointed I saw in the eyes of my parents for not being truthful with them far outweighed any consequence I might have received if I had just been honest in the first place. The old saying is very true – “Honesty is the best policy”.

Dealing with the parade of lies that have been revealed when it comes to our daughter will not prove to be an easy feat. With that said, the underlying teaching moment will reside in the value learned from a passage such as Psalm 34:13. As those who claim to be followers of God and who claim to have a desire to be more like our Creator, we must realize am important fact, namely God is always truthful and never lies. In fact, Scripture repeatedly notes that God abhors a lying tongue. It is an abomination to Him.

James 3:5 reminds us “the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindles!” More often than not, a lying tongue can burn a relationship with the trust that once existed being destroyed. As a parent, it is important to drive home this truth to our daughter. Allowing a habit of lying to take root is a dangerous road to travel. This is why God commands us to keep our tongues from evil and our lips from speaking deceit. The word translated deceit in this passage is the Hebrew noun mirmah meaning “treachery”. Why are we to abstain from such things? It is because treachery is a practice and approach of Satan whose main battle plan involves wiles which is best defined as trickery.

Truth and lying/treachery/trickery are polar opposites. The mouth of the believer should not be a place where both reside. Truth should be all that comes from our lips. How do we deal with the temptation to speak lies and treachery? God tells us to “keep” our tongue from evil and deceit. To “keep” means to guard, to keep watch, to preserve, and to set a blockade around. Can we keep our tongues from deceit by our own efforts? Clearly not given the amount of deceit that takes place on a daily basis. To keep is a constant state of readiness that can only take place by exercising our spiritual muscles through the work of the Holy Spirit. One must associate themselves with those who speak truth. One must inculcate truth into every fiber of their being. Speaking truth must be practiced in order for those aforementioned spiritual muscles to take shape.
To stand against the wiles of the devil, we must constantly don the full armor of God. Our waist is to be girded with truth. Why? Perhaps so we will not be caught with our pants down when our house of cards (i.e. parade of lies) comes crashing down.

Teaching these truths to our teenage daughter is of course imperative, but it is a lesson I humbly admit I need to learn myself. Lying is all too easy, but as a child of God, I must desire truth over lies.

The post Michael Boling – Keeping Your Lips From Deceit appeared first on Christian Apologetics & Intelligence Ministry.

“And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” (Deut. 6:6-9)

As a parent, I am keenly reminded each and every day of the battle that wages for the hearts and minds of children. Add to that being the parent of an adopted child and you have an even greater battle taking place. In the day to day routine, it seems at least in my home that we easily forget one of the fundamental keys to parenting, something God has commanded parents to be about doing at all times with their children. That key to effective parenting revolves around the teaching and implementation of God’s word at all times and in all places.

In Deuteronomy 6:6-9, God commands parents to do a number of things. Before we examine what He commanded, it is important to take a quick step back to grasp where Israel was at when God spoke these words and what they were about to embark upon. The children of Israel were about ready to enter the Promised Land. Before they stepped foot into the land of promise, God reminded Israel of what He had done on their behalf, how He had delivered them from bondage, and moreover, He reminded them once again of the commands He had given them to live by.

Thus, the words God is referring to in Deut. 6:6 are the sets of commands He gave to Israel on how they were to love Him and love others. These commands were not just a onetime declaration that could be heard and then forgotten or lost upon later generations. To ensure the constant focus and emphasis on these instructions, God commanded parents to constantly share these truths with their children.

God is quite clear on how He wants this instruction to take place. First, He gives the command for parents to diligently teach these things. This phrase “teach them diligently” by no means reflects a half hearted approach or attitude. The word translated as teach is the Hebrew verb shanan which means “to inculcate anything on any one.” Now for those not familiar with inculcate means, that words connotes the concept of hammering something. Perhaps a good way to think about this activity is in relation to hammering a nail into a piece of wood. Unless you are Popeye the Sailor Man, it is highly unlikely you will be able with one smack of the hammer to drive that nail flush into the wood. It takes repetition and it requires hitting that nail exactly on the head. Furthermore, it requires hitting that nail in the same spot over and over, driving that nail into the wood. This same concept can be related to what God is commanding parents in Deut. 6:7. He expects parents to drive home the word of God at all times with great zeal and purpose.

The next important point to note is God expects parents to start this instruction with their children. Do not wait until your kids are teenagers to start mentioning the word of God. Start young and start often. Why? Proverbs 22:6 promises, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” When you plant the seeds of Scripture deep in the heart of a child when they are young, God’s word takes root in their life. While it is no guarantee they will follow after God when they grow to adulthood, studies have revealed “that when both parents were faithful and active in the church, 93 percent of their children remained faithful.”[1]

The next command God gives is for parents to “talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.” This statement covers every element of one’s daily activities and possible locations. Now talking is far more than just a passing conversation. The word translated as talk is the Hebrew verb dabar which means “to speak, declare, converse, command, promise, warn, threaten, sing” with the underlying idea of leading and guiding as a shepherd would his flocks being the primary emphasis. This means parents are to shepherd their children by using the word of God as the shepherd’s crook, keeping them on the straight and narrow path. This takes place at home, anywhere outside the home regardless of whether you are sitting down or standing up. Basically God is saying – “Parents. At all times and in all places instruct your children in My word.”

As if this was not clear enough, God further notes “You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Binding God’s commands on your hands and your eyes signifies that the truth of His word controls your actions and thoughts. Writing God’s word on the doorposts of your house and on your gates reminds parents of the need for Scripture to define how their home is ran and how it functions.

How then are parents to be able to follow these clear commands of the Lord? Being able to instruct your children in the ways of God and in His holy word requires the parent to be faithful in their own bible study and in prayer. It will take preparation, serious earnest preparation with God’s word sinking into the fabric of your own heart before you can then pour out the refreshing and cleansing water of God’s word into the lives of your children. This means that parents must hammer home God’s word into their own lives, setting the example of what diligent bible study looks like. This means that parents must live out in their own words and actions the truth of Scripture.

This is not easy and breaking lazy habits will not happen overnight. With that said, just as exercising your physical muscles takes diligence, practice, and know how, so to exercising your spiritual muscles will require action, diligence, practice, and know how so you can in turn train your children how to exercise their spiritual muscles so they can instruct their children. It is high time parents burn some spiritual fat, get a biblical chiropractic check-up and get to work following God’s clear command found in Deut. 6:6-9. Swinging that biblical hammer to drive home the truth of Scripture takes a lot of work and there is no denying that one bit. There is also no denying the benefits that will occur for those parents who are obedient to this command.

It is time parents stop abdicating their God ordained and commanded responsibility to Sunday School and Youth Group leaders to train their children in the ways of God. While they play a part, the primary responsibility rests in the lap of the parents.

Hammer it home parents!

References:

[1] http://www.gotquestions.org/falling-away.html#ixzz3H0IsZJHG

The post Michael Boling – Apologetics in the Home (Deut. 6:6-9) appeared first on Christian Apologetics & Intelligence Ministry.

Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. (Deut. 6:7-8)

Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. (Prov. 22:6)

We are the proud parents of a 14 year old daughter. She is a joy and a treasure. Now anyone who is a parent can attest there are days when your child does not seem like either a joy or a treasure. They test your patience, act in a rebellious manner, are disrespectful, and at times seem to thumb their nose at the godly guidance you have provided. If you have not experienced such things as a parent as yet believe me when I say your time will come.

Rebellion against authority is nothing new. Adam and Eve acted in rebellion to God’s command, thus setting this thing called sin into motion. A child acting in rebellion against their parent is quite simply a recurring reenactment of that first sin. There is really nothing new under the sun.

But wait you might declare. The Bible commands parents to impress upon our children the commands of God and also notes that if we train up our children in the ways of God, when they grow up they will not depart from those statutes. Why then is my child acting in rebellion when God said if I teach them His ways they will not depart from those ways? Is there a disconnect going on here?
The answer is there is no disconnect. Yes God commands parents to instruct their children in the ways of the Lord. God’s commands as found in His Word should be the backbone of all we do in our homes to the point where it inculcates our daily actions and serves as the very foundation for our lives. We are to train our children up in the ways of the Lord with training meaning a constant state of action.

Here is the reality. Sin is still an issue. The allure of the world often shines brighter than following God’s ways. Our enemy makes the battle a difficult one. Understanding the nature of that battle is essential for parents. If we naively think our children are constantly walking in righteousness, it is no surprise then why some parents are so shocked that little Susie or little Johnny was out drinking with their underage buddies last Saturday night and were not at the house they were supposed to be.

Parents should operate under the trust but verify approach with the amount of verification dependent on the trustworthiness demonstrated by the child. Why is this necessary? Am I not supposed to trust my child? Now think about that question for a minute. When you were your child’s age, what were the shenanigans you pulled? Were you a perfect child? Did you not enact a long string of fibs believing your parents would be none the wiser? If you are still not convinced, let me share a recent personal example of why it is necessary for parents to trust but verify.

We discovered that our daughter had been continuing to do something we had directed her not to do. Now after the first round of discovery, there had been a lengthy conversation about the train of lies that had taken place on her part, why honesty is always the best policy, the dangers involved with her actions, why lying breaks the valuable bonds of trust, and punishment enacted that was befitting of the infraction. After a period of time when it appeared the lesson had been learned, we began to move back to allowing access to certain devices at home that had been misused.
Now after a few weeks, we began to notice a few behavioral patterns that gave us pause. After checking into our suspicions (trusting but verifying), we discovered the unfortunate reality that the aforementioned issue had once again surfaced meaning there was no real element of repentance on the part of our daughter with the spirit of rebellion and lying continuing to rule the day. Of course this caused a great deal of disappointment and it resulted in yet another more firm round of conversations and a more stout application of punishment.

While we were certainly disappointed, her actions were not surprising. This is not to say we expect her to constantly lie as if this is her lot in life to be a liar until her dying day. However, we do realize the allure of the world and the enemy’s wiles. Deception is one his greatest and most used weapons. Man often succumbs to the temptation to lie instead of understanding the beauty of truth. This means that dealing with our daughter telling us lies was not surprising. Crushing in many respects, but not surprising. It is our God given duty to instruct her in why it is always best to be truthful. Lies are the actions of the wicked and the people of God are to be holy as God is holy. God does not lie so this means we should not lie.

How do we deal with this behavior? It is not easy that much is certain. Punishment is of course necessary, but it must be implemented under an overarching umbrella that relays to our daughter that the punishment is a tool that is utilized in a spirit of loving protection. Remember those whom God loves, He chastens (Heb. 12:6). If we truly love our children, we will address sinful behavior in a loving yet firm manner. Parents need to train their children in the way they should go and at times, the loving crook of the shepherd needs to be used to bring the sheep back to the fold.

The broken trust that now exists is difficult. Through this experience I am reminded of my relationship with God. I have had to ask myself in what ways am I not being truthful with God. Keeping a perpetuate lie going on with the One who knows all is a ridiculous notion at best is it not? So why even try to attempt such a charade? Lying is an abomination to God. This is a truth my wife and I are trying to relay to our daughter, but I humble admit it is a truth I too need to be remind of and embrace.

Through this ordeal I have learned some valuable parenting lessens as well as some valuable relationship lessons with my heavenly Father. Truth is simply one of the many lessons that is being taught, both in our home as parents and in our home as children of God.

I encourage all you parents out there who may be going through issues with your children to be firm and loving. It is not easy. Children will disappoint but we cannot stop loving them and guiding them in the ways of the Lord. We disobey our heavenly Father on a constant basis, but as His children, He still loves us and disciplines us for our own good. Understanding that model is essential for good parenting and is essential when it comes to the vertical relationship with God.

The post Michael Boling – Lessons From the World of Parenting appeared first on Christian Apologetics & Intelligence Ministry.

There is something wonderfully unique about Christian parents. Christian parents seek to maintain a counter-cultural flavor even as we seek to prepare our children for entrance into that culture as fully-functioning adults. They seek to prepare their children for life on earth at the same time as they are seeking to prepare them for life in heaven. Christian parents see their children as a gift given to them and also as a stewardship to be respected. They are “our children” and yet we also recognize that they belong to another–namely to their Heavenly Father. Christian parenting is an odd endeavor and Christian parents are a rare breed. Here are some of the things that make Christian parenting a unique thing in this fallen world:

1. Christian parents seek to love their children but not worship them.

· They have our hearts, but they cannot dominate our souls. We live for God, not for our children.

2. Christian parents seek to instill morals but not mere morality.

· Outward conformity is not our aim. We long to see their hearts changed and renewed in the Lord.

3. Christian parents seek to uphold a standard but do not seek perfection.

· Even as we point them to the Law of God, we know that they will fail time and again. God’s grace is lavished upon us, we should lavish grace upon them.

4. Christian parents long to see their children succeed but not according to worldly standards.

· Success in our eyes differs from success in the world’s eyes. The success that fills our souls with delight is spiritual above all else.

5. Christian parents look to their children’s future but not to one that is merely here on earth.

· As we raise our children, we are training them for eternity. We have our eyes on eternity and are seeking to set their eyes on eternity.

6. Christian parents want their children to be happy but not at the expense of holiness.

· What a blessing it is to watch your children enjoy life, but we desire a joy that stems from holiness and godly living.

7. Christian parents desire their children’s lives to be unburdened but not void of trial.

· The cares of the world are heavy and we would see all relieved from the shoulders of our children as is possible, but not at the expense of their growth in Christ. We know that trials shape character and we are willing to suffer as we watch our children suffer that the greater end might be realized.

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Somebody thinks I ought to begin my day with porn. On Sunday I opened my inbox early in the day and found an image of a naked woman waiting for me there — not exactly how I wanted to begin my Lord’s Day. It was in an email that looked perfectly fine, but when I clicked on it, well, there she was. A millisecond later the email was in the spam folder and that was that. A very similar email was in my inbox on Monday and again the day after, though these times I clicked the spam button without opening them. There was nothing today, so I assume the spam filter has now begun to do its job. But, sadly, this is not unusual on the Internet. With all the benefits that come through it, we also face certain unwanted drawbacks.

A few years ago, I wrote a book on technology and since then have traveled around the world to speak on the subject. I’ve spoken personally with hundreds of people and have heard from many more through email and social media. The stories I hear are chilling. I can’t tell how many times I’ve heard of porn addictions, or at least porn struggles, that began with an email just like the one I received. It wasn’t that people were out looking for bad stuff, but that the bad stuff came looking for them. Once they saw it they became intrigued by it and once they became intrigued they found themselves captivated. I have heard of young children — very young children — who developed interests in dark things from dark places all because of something they stumbled upon when they were online. The sad fact is, as we use the Internet we will, at times, be faced with such things. So, too, will our children.

As parents, we know the importance of having the infamous birds and bees talk with our children. This is, and has always been, a parent’s responsibility. Today, before it’s time for the birds and bees talk, it’s time for the tech talk. As soon as our children begin to go online, we need to open an ongoing conversation about the dangers they may experience there, and to instruct them on how to react when they encounter those dangers.

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It is highly offensive and dangerous for one to complacently and rebelliously live in sin before the Holy God. According to the Bible, God is angry with such wicked individuals each and every day. His condemnation is promised; it will be severe when poured out by the Just Judge of all mankind.

In addition, if one wishes to further infuriate the Almighty God, one will train his children to walk in unrighteousness after his own model. Such satanic discipleship makes God violently angry. In Scripture he gives a severe warning to the father or mother who would cause one of their little ones to stumble. God says “it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea.” (Matt. 18:6) One can only imagine how hot will be the hell experienced by wantonly rebellious fathers and mothers.

In Matthew 14, and example of such wicked parentage is presented:

At that time Herod the tetrarch heard about the fame of Jesus, and he said to his servants, “This is John the Baptist. He has been raised from the dead; that is why these miraculous powers are at work in him.” For Herod had seized John and bound him and put him in prison for the sake of Herodias, his brother Philip’s wife, because John had been saying to him, “It is not lawful for you to have her.” And though he wanted to put him to death, he feared the people, because they held him to be a prophet. But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced before the company and pleased Herod, so that he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. Prompted by her mother, she said, “Give me the head of John the Baptist here on a platter.” And the king was sorry, but because of his oaths and his guests he commanded it to be given. He sent and had John beheaded in the prison, and his head was brought on a platter and given to the girl, and she brought it to her mother. And his disciples came and took the body and buried it, and they went and told Jesus. (Matthew 14:1-12)

Herod and Herodias were familiar with the Word of God. They lived in Judea. They were surrounded by priests and scribes. They were cognizant of Israel’s ordinances, sacraments, sacrifices, and ceremonies. They were instructed by Israel’s feasts. All around them was the truth of God; they were immersed in the holy religion that came forth from Israel’s God.

Herod and Herodias were consumed with covetousness, pride, lust, and adultery. They were not interested in God. They were not interested in their neighbors. They were not interested in their original spouses. No, they were only interested in themselves, so with blatant disregard they walked in iniquity and left a wake of chaos behind them.

Herod and Herodias were bothered by the message coming forth from God’s man. John the Baptist uncovered their sins and called them to repentance; he preached many sermons targeting their depravity. However, as John persisted in preaching God’s Word, he was ultimately apprehended, bound, and cast into prison. This sinful couple used all their resources to squelch his voice. They would not tolerate God casting light on their dark transgressions. They ridded themselves of the biblical pest that kept raining on their party.

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Two years ago, I must have struck a nerve with the article “Parents, Require Obedience of Your Children.” It has proved to be one of our most visited resources.

In view of that, I thought it might be helpful to go behind that article, and give a deeper, wider biblical basis for rearing and disciplining children. My guess is that most of us parent by intuition and tradition. That’s not all bad. Parenting is an art, not a science. And artists do not consult manuals as they paint.

But our human intuitions and traditions should be shaped by God’s revelation. So think of this article as a short lesson about some things God has revealed in the Bible that give foundation and guidance for our parenting. We’ll start with the very basics.

1. Marriage between one man and one woman for life is God’s plan for the procreation and rearing of children.

The lifelong covenant of marriage between a man and a woman is God’s original idea for the human race. It is modeled on, and rooted in, God’s eternal plan to redeem a bride for his Son — the church.

A man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24)

“From the beginning of creation, ‘God made them male and female.’ ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” (Mark 10:6–9)

“A man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (Ephesians 5:31–32)

2. The covenant union of marriage was the way God planned to fill the earth with human beings who would reflect his glory by their faith and creative productivity.

God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Genesis 1:28)

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Raising children is a matter of discipleship and good stewardship. We have a short time as parents to impart the tools, wisdom and basic skills that are necessary for their adult life. But one thing that may get overlooked by Christian families is the importance of teaching good biblical doctrine from an early age. These are the all-important why’s to the do’s and do-not-do’s that most parents are good at giving. If children do not have the why’s answered, even if they are not directly asking them, then how important will it be to do what is right as they grow? Will they make the connection between life and God, between doing good and loving Jesus, between respect for parents and honoring their Creator if wholesome Bible doctrine is left out?

One of the best ways to connect discipline with doctrine in a child’s mind is to proactively introduce the doctrine at the time of the discipline and to do so every time. When a child ignores you when you say, “don’t do that”, it’s common to react with “What did I tell you?” or “If I have to tell you again…” in a frustrated tone. We’ve all done it. It’s not wrong to be frustrated, but it would be far more helpful if they knew exactly why you are, and that the frustration is not just with them but with their misbehavior. Leaving good doctrine out at this point would be detrimental. They will learn that doing right and wrong is based upon reward only, rather than on a loving and holy God who deserves obedience all the time. Explain to them in that moment that God in his love and through His Word has asked Children to honor their parents and that not to is hurtful to God’s heart. Depending on their age they may look at you cross-eyed and confused, but that could be because they’ve never heard you say it. They’ll begin to wonder who God is as you speak of him and doors will swing wide open for you to tell them more about this loving God you serve.

Exodus 20:12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

Ephesians 6:1-3 “Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”

Another common behavior among children is the mistreatment of their siblings. There is not much else that irks a parent more than dealing on a daily basis with hitting, name-calling, disrespect and downright rudeness between children who in your mind should be best friends. From toddlers to teens this battle rages on. If not handled through loving discipline and a good doctrinal foundation it will surely go on to greater mistreatment and even harm to others.

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My son, heed the discipline of your father, and do not abandon the teaching of your mother; they will be a garland to grace your head, a medal of honor for your neck. Proverbs 1:8-9 (CJB)

This passage has long been one utilized as a springboard for discussion focused on helping children understand the importance of obeying their parents. For those purposes, it is of course an excellent foundation for such a discussion. With that said, in order for children to heed the discipline of their father and the teachings of their mother, the discipline and teaching must be biblically sound. So I would like to turn the tables a bit and focus Proverbs 1:8-9 on parents.

As a parent and as a former child, I am keenly aware that children are a sponge. Wherever your child goes, they are absorbing information, both good and bad. The back of the school bus alone is a place ripe for information being thrown out left and right. Since children are largely naïve about matters of right and wrong behavior, more often than not their approach to the world is shaped by their peer group. Furthermore, their understanding of the world is also molded by the examples they see at home on a daily basis from their parents.

I have lost count of how many times my daughter has told me – “Well you said (insert sentence)” or “You did (insert action)” with the purpose of those questions being rooted in obtaining approval for their words and/or actions because they have observed their parents doing the very thing for which they are being disciplined. If parents were honest with themselves, we would have to admit we are being a bit hypocritical if we expect our children to not do the wrong actions we are doing. In order for our children to heed discipline and instruction, it is vital for us as parents to set a godly example. The do as I say not as I do rhetoric simply will not cut it in the world of parenting.

What then is a better example and approach than the aforementioned poor rhetoric? Joel Beeke, in his excellent book Parenting by God’s Promises, rightly notes

“What children need to see is not a perfect mom or dad, and certainly not a mom or dad who never says, I’m sorry. They need to see in us an unwavering commitment to Jesus Christ, an unconditional love for them, and a strong bond of love for each other as husband and wife. They need to see a mom and dad laboring shoulder to shoulder, of whom the children can say: My mom and date hate sin, they love God, and their only hope is in Christ Jesus. They want with all that is in them to live holy and godly lives. I can see it, I can feel it; I know it is true and it is real, and I want to be like them. I want the God of my father and mother to be my God.” In particular, godly modeling should instill in our children the conviction that the Christian life is the way to live and that it brings true joy; true purpose, and true meaning in life, and awaken in them a kind of holy jealousy to want these things for themselves.”

If we are to expect our children to heed the discipline and instruction noted in Proverbs 1:8-9, we must set the example for them by constantly heeding the discipline and instruction found in God’s Word. In doing so, we set a standard of righteousness that our children can grab hold of and for which they will desire for themselves. When our children see that our relationship with God is far more than just a weekend excursion to church, they will be far more willing to lend a listening ear and a willing heart to the discipline and instruction you are providing.

By no means will you or your children always get it right. Struggles are an unfortunate part of life lived in a world of sin and where the flesh constantly strives against the work of the Holy Spirit. However, doing nothing and expecting your children to follow the “do as I say not as I do” mantra is a tired and completely failed policy. Godly parenting involves a more excellent way, one that is rooted in parents first being under the discipline and instruction of God at all times so they in turn can instruct their children in the way they should go.

If we want to leave a godly legacy to our children, the garland and medal described in Proverbs 1:8-9, the task begins with us. As noted by Benjamin Wadworth, “Be sure to set good example before your children … Other methods of instruction probably will not do much good if you don’t teach them by a godly example. Don’t think your children will mind the good rules you give them if you act contrary to those rules yourselves… If your counsels are good, and your examples evil, your children will be more like to be hurt by the latter, than benefitted by the former.”

Be parents who are devoted to the reading of God’s Word and prayer. Be committed to personal and family devotions. Set the example of what it means to be righteous by demonstrating by your own actions what godly discipline and instruction is all about. When your children see you walking before God in righteousness and truth through the work of the Holy Spirit, they will be more apt to appreciate the discipline and instruction they receive from you. Put your hand in the hands of our heavenly Father, allowing Him to lead and guide you. In turn, your children will place their hands in yours as you lead them and guide them in the paths of godly living.

The post Michael Boling – Thoughts on Godly Discipline and Instruction from Proverbs 1:8-9 appeared first on Christian Apologetics & Intelligence Ministry.

Exposure to sexual content is inevitable in today’s society. In addition to this reality, if you have any desire to raise your child in a Christ-honoring way, then it is necessary to deal with the cultural issues that could cause stumbling and result in long-term harm.

Pornography is accessible to every home in America whether through word, sounds, or images. Gone are the days of catching a glimpse of the racy calendar in the local mechanic shop or stealing Uncle George’s Playboy. Pornography today is accessible to any child, at almost any time, in almost any home, all while maintaining anonymity and with little risk involved. It’s a type of exciting, erotic, exhilarating forbidden fruit to the young eye. Heck, even to many older eyes.

Yet, even if your child is not bent towards this temptation, he or she can quickly stumble upon it. A friend recently told the story of his seven-year-old daughter and her friend who heard the word “sex” at school. The friend lived next door, and while they were playing outside, the neighbor brought out an unsupervised iPad and searched for the word “sex.” You can imagine the world to which these young minds were introduced. It has forever impacted this young girl and her family.

The reality is that you and I are surrounded by sexual content and so are our children. The question is not if they will encounter sexual content, but when and how we as parents can ensure it is in a healthy God-honoring way. Either we take on the responsibility of guiding our children through understanding sexuality rightly, or take the risk of having an older sibling, teenage neighbor, or some explicit website assume the role for us.

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Parenting can quickly become a reactionary calling. From our earliest days as mommy or daddy, we’re summoned by piercing cries for food and attention. Other callings in life are regularly interrupted and inconvenienced by our new role, with its responsibilities in which we’re still just learning to walk. The pattern continues as our children grow and mature, finding more refined ways to summon us to nourish and cherish them.

With the sheer quantity of time and energy it takes simply to react to our children’s needs, and to their growing manifestations of sin, it’s all too easy to focus only on discipline and punishment, and neglect the proactive and visionary calling of parenting.

The New Testament’s twin texts on parenting (Ephesians 6:4 and Colossians 3:21) begin with a check for our own sin, but both have more to say — and in doing so they give us a sightline into a positive vision for parenting that is fully Christian.

Nourish Them in Jesus

Ephesians 6:4 tells us positively to “bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” Our task is to nourish our children with what God has revealed to us in the Scriptures about himself, humanity, our sin, our world, and his Son. We are to bring our children up toward adulthood in the very things we teach and expect, with God’s help, of Christian adults.

I say “nourish” because the word for “bring them up” in Ephesians 6:4 is the same word translated “nourish” just a few verses prior in Ephesians 5:29: “No one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church.” Such proactive nourishing, not just reacting, applies to husbanding and fathering alike in its distinct expressions.

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Not just any fatherly involvement can reach the hearts of our children. To really open up a child’s heart, a father must observe the work-and-keep model of Genesis 2:15. There must be the working — as a father nurtures and cultivates the soil of a child’s heart. And there must be the keeping—the correction that, as we will see in the following chapter, is to be exercised in a relationship of joy and love.

I am constantly amazed at the number of people who assure me that their fathers hardly ever praised them, but constantly criticized and berated. I meet people all the time who tell me that their fathers beat into their heads that they were losers who would never succeed. I can scarcely imagine what that is like. There is only so much a pastor can do to remedy such an upbringing, and the best he can do will include pointing such a person to the effective healing love of our heavenly Father, who can do far more than any man. But as fathers we can ensure that our own children are raised with the rich fertilizer of fatherly affection and esteem.

A godly father plants good things in the hearts of his children. He plants:

The seeds of his own faith in Christ.
A longing for truth and goodness.
His hopes and dreams for the godly man or woman the child will become.
His own confidence that the child has all the gifting and capacity needed to serve God faithfully in whatever way God may genuinely call.

A godly father works these things into the soil of his child’s heart as he shares his own heart, listens to and molds the child’s heart, and waters these tender plants with faith and love.

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My Dear Sons,

The eye beholds much good and evil in this life. Beholding leads to becoming. What we continually put before our eyes and minds will shape and determine who we are. Images either tell the truth or lie, but they all speak. On top of this, our natural eyes are lustful things not easily satisfied (1 John 2:16). One lustful look can change us. One look can feed the monster within so that it rears up its ugly head looking for more.

“Feed me,” he says. His appetite is fierce and unsatisfied. One look leads to another, and then to many more.

This is the kingdom of sexual lust — a world of soft porn and free porn — and secrets contained in cleared web browsers. What you behold, boys, you become. If you steep your tea too long, it becomes bitter. Likewise, if you sit and soak in pornographic fantasies, your life will have a bitter taste. At first the flavors might taste sweet, but bitterness will always be the end result. And the bitterness will be shared someday in your interactions with girls: how you think about girls, talk to girls, treat girls, and pursue girls.

A Wicked Education in Sex

Pornography misshapes your vision of girls, whether you realize it or not. And one day, pornography might affect your future wife. The women gleaming on the computer screen may not directly feel the effects of your lust, but they will indirectly, as you fuel the industry that enslaves and trafficks them.

But the images cannot feel the painful grief and loss a wife feels when her husband’s hidden sins are inevitably revealed. I plead with you to not let the tea steep that long; to not let one look turn into thousands of looks over the course of years. If this happens, you will taste the bitterness, my sons, and you will want to spit it out.

Lust distorts the glory of both biblical manhood and womanhood; it goes against the divine mandate in the garden of Eden. Men are to care for women — and provide and protect with humble strength — not exploit and dominate. Women are strong, capable, and your equal, not objects to be used and discarded.

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I hate to admit that the title of this blog post too often describes my household. I never (or at least it seems that way to me) lose my temper with my wife, my staff, or my congregation. But sadly, I too often feel (and act?) like that little Anger guy from Inside Out when it comes to my kids. Too many frustrated sighs and raised voices and sharp tones (and that’s just from the parents!).

In Ephesians 6:4, God tells fathers—though I think it’s okay for moms to listen in—to raise children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. He also warns against provoking our children to anger. So how do we do one without the other? How do we discipline exasperating kids without in turn exasperating them unnecessarily?

Commenting on Ephesians 6:4, Martyn Lloyd-Jones offers seven principles to govern our disciplinary action as parents (Life in the Spirit, 278-84). The headings and commentary are mine. The quotations are the Doctor’s.

1. Self-Control

“We are incapable of exercising true discipline unless we are first able to exercise self-control, and discipline our own tempers” (278).

The goal is for children to be less angry, not for parents to join them in their fury. An explosion of anger often feels good, and it may even yield short-term results, but the fruit is behaviorism more than gospel sweetness. I can think of many times I’ve had to go back to my kids later and tell them I was sorry for responding to their sin in a sinful way.

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Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—”that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth. Ephesians 6:1-3

“My son, obey your father’s commands, and don’t neglect your mother’s teaching. Keep their words always in your heart. Tie them around your neck. Wherever you walk, their counsel can lead you. When you sleep, they will protect you. When you wake up in the morning, they will advise you.” Proverbs 6:20-22

“The father of a righteous man has great joy; he who has a wise son delights in him. May your father and mother be glad; may she who gave you birth rejoice!” Proverbs 23:24-25

Perhaps there is no duty the obligations of which are more generally acknowledged than filial piety; none which in the performance yields greater pleasure; nor which, if neglected brings a more severe or righteous retribution. All nations, however sunk in barbarism or elevated by science, have admitted the strength and justice of parental claims; and the unhappy youth who resists them, stands convicted, condemned and reprobated before the tribunal of the world. On the other hand, an eminently dutiful child is an object of delight, admiration and esteem, to all who have an opportunity of witnessing his conduct; he goes through society surrounded by a glory purer than that of fame, and far more conducive to his own comfort; he is a blessing to his parents, and is blessed himself.

Children, may all of you be such—and for that purpose, I ask your fixed attention to the statement of your duties, as set before you in this chapter. The obligations of family life are reciprocal. If your parents owe to you all that I have enjoined upon them, how much do you owe to your parents? I have been your advocate with them, I now become theirs with you.

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